At work tonight, with just a few minutes to go before news time, one of my co-workers came to me with a problem. He is compiling a list of his top five worst movies of all time. He had four, but couldn't decide on a fifth. Hey, I get it. There are so many bad movies to choose from.
I don't remember all four of his picks, but one of them was "AMERICAN ANTHEM," starring Olympic gymnast Mitch Gaylord and Janet Jones before she became Mrs. Wayne Gretzky. I've never seen it but that's probably because I've heard that it's a really bad movie.
One of the first bad movies I thought of was "Godsend" starring Robert DeNiro. Even Greg Kinnear couldn't save this movie from being horrible. I also thought of another DeNiro film, "Hide and Seek," which, in my opinion, is only slightly better than "Godsend." We also mentioned "Forces of Nature" starring Ben Affleck. Another co-worker thought "Bounce," another Affleck film, was also bad, but I don't think it's bad enough to make a worst movie list.
After that, I was stumped, so I turned to my old Web site where I keep an online archive of my movie reviews. If I ever get around to redesigning my current Web site - which is the reason I took a couple classes at LCCC - I will transfer the archives to the revamped site. But, for now, they live on the old site. A quick check of the archive turned up these clunkers:
- FORCES OF NATURE - in which Ben Affleck almost misses his wedding day because he doesn't travel well.
- THE FORGOTTEN - in which Julianne Moore tries to remember that she once had a kid.
- GODSEND - in which Robert DeNiro creates a little monster.
- HIGHLANDER: THE SOURCE - lacking any kind of magic, it went right to the Sci-Fi channel.
- HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE - in which Harrison Ford tries to sell real estate while solving the murder of a rap star.
- MEET THE FOCKERS - in which DeNiro takes a road trip to met Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand.
I probably should have also added another Affleck gem, "Jersey Girl." That movie was so bad that the emotional climax came in the first couple minutes when Jennifer Lopez died in child birth and left Ben Affleck to carry the movie on his own. As the aforementioned second co-worker said, if Ben Affleck is the romantic lead, you know you're in for a bad movie.